Ponson era!

I've missed a lot in my life. High school was mostly boredom for me, sadly NOT filled with naked girls, illegal drugs and drag races around Dead Man's Curve like those TV shows would have you believe. God damnit, I never even had a chance to have Marissa shoot my brother. I'm getting upset just thinking about it.

With the Twins, however, I almost never miss. I watch every game I could possibly care about. Last year, when Johan struck out all kinds of Red Sox and Kubel hit a Grand Slam to win the game in extras? Yeah, I watched on TV. When Morneau hit that little Bush League single to beat Mariano Rivera? I was there. Saw Kirby get hit in the eye and his press conference. Erickson's no-hitter. Wells' drunken perfect game.

Sadly, I did not see Sidney Ponson's first start. This was heartbreaking for two reasons: 1) This would signal the official start of the Matt Garza era and 2) There is nothing more watchable than the meteoric fall of a sports star. I must admit, I'm a sucker for watching old glories fall flat on their face, to the point where everyone wants them to succeed just because it's so sad. It happened last year with Rondell White. He seems like he might be back on-line, but he was terrible for the first few months last year. The 400 bar in Minneapolis had a "Domestic beer at Rondell White's batting average" deal last year, and until about mid-July it was a really good deal.

Anyway, I had hopes. I'm a Twins fan. Of course I'm going to hope. I really wanted him to walk out there, put his whole body behind every pitch, maybe strike out some of the big guns for the Yanks. There would have been a huge, loving smile on my face if I looked up his line and saw something akin to 6 innings, 4 runs, 6 hits. That would have made me smile.

Of course, his actual line made me smile, too. Just in a mean way.